So my mother posted about time. I feel like I do not have enough time. I feel like I am sacrificing time. Too much time is taken away from my family. It is my own fault that I am away from my children so much lately. I have 14 credit hours this semester, and they are evening classes. I say goodbye to my children as they go to school in the morning (they are gone by 8am) and then I don't see them until after my classes, so not until 7 or 7:30 at night. My daughter is in Kindergarten so I usually get to see her for lunch. But lately I have had to do some observations for my research assistant job, and I have to go to secondary schools to do a practicum for a class.
One day was especially hard this month, it was last week Tuesday. I was running late for everything. I had to go to the high school, then the scout office, then a training, then two classes, then Pack Night of which I am (was) the Cubmaster. I had planned to skip my second class and had already talked with my instructor the week previous. I ended up skipping both of my classes just so I could get all the awards ready for Pack Night. I was certainly glad when the night was over.
Sunday, I was released from being the Cubmaster. It is bittersweet. I like the job. But I feel that lately I haven't been giving it my all, just coasting because I do not have enough time. Everytime I go to the scout office I usually forget something or will get a wrong thing because I rush since I am pressed for time. For my Spring semester classes I have a class scheduled that will conflict with Pack Night. So I pretty much asked to be released. This is the only time this class is offered and I have to take it when it is offered for my degree program.
If you need to get a hold of me, I usually have my cell on me. I may not be able to answer at the moment but I will get back to you. I am rarely home, and if you were to leave a message there I may not get it anyway.
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I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels like this! Last tues was so crazy for me too. I totally understand leaving the kids for school. It's really hard. I try not to feel guilty everyday. Camilla is only 2 months and probably doesn't notice me gone and loves her daddy time. But it's hard for ME! Luckily we don't have too much longer in the program. We can do it!!! Choosing to get our degrees will bless our families so much. From one mom to another, I think you are doing great and I really look up to you!!!
ReplyDeletei was thinking the other night how many times mom worked a midnight shift while dad was out of town? it never seemed weird to me. and the fact that we hardly "saw" mom... except on sundays at church - haha! when she was home, it was always asleep. do I feel gypped? no. but then again, I was older. I also think that I knew it wasn't a "forever" thing. I mean, you have a plan, and you are RIGHT.THERE. Almost at the end. You are picking up momentum, getting this stuff down, and in a few years your kids will be like, "yeah... whatever, Mom. we didn't really miss you!" hahaha!
ReplyDeleteBy the way -- I think you are a SAINT for doing cubscouts. If they ever call me in for that, I am going to have to really try hard to hide my facial expression... (Dear God, No. This is not like a praying for "patience" thing. I really do NOT need to serve in the scouting program to learn to love scouts. Promise...")
Anyway - hang in there... Oh - and I stopped clearing out my home voice mail. cuz I could never keep up with messages. So, now people will get a "this mailbox is full" which is fine by me... cuz then I don't have to call them back! lol!
regarding ruth's "amish phrase"... think about it... real hard... four words... starts with "go" and ends in "coo".
ReplyDeleteShe texted me the phrase. I had forgotten about that one.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I was ever privy to the phrase which is probably a good thing.
ReplyDeleteJust keep telling yourself that you can do these things and not to overschedule too much. Congratulations on the release but don't rally in it too much cause you have a lot of years yet to serve.
I was given a replacement calling a few weeks before they released me from Cubmaster. I am the ward choir director. (again, this is my second time, but each time was for a different ward)
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