A Game of Tag ala Bookworm!

How about a game of Tag? Here is how to play:
1. Open the book closest to you, not your favorite or most intellectual book, but the book closest to you at the moment.
2. Turn to page 56....
3. Write out the fifth sentence, as well as the two to five sentences following.

My Writing & Rhetoric book for English is the closest, so here goes...

Aristotle describes three proofs: persuasion through a writer's credibility (ethos), persuasion through a reader's emotions (pathos), and persuasion through reasoning (logos).

Food, food and more food

Tis the season for binge-ing and gorge-ing.
Lotta-fat-fat-fat, fat-fat-fat-fat
Must've gained 10 pounds since Thursday morning,
Lotta-fat-fat-fat, fat-fat-fat-fat

Don we now our plus size apparrel
Lotta-fat-fat-fat, fat-fat-fat-fat
Ne'er again step upon a scale
Lotta-fat-fat-fat, fat-fat-fat-fat


Man o man I ate good this holiday weekend. Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, corn pudding, mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls, cheese and relish tray, coconut cake and turtle cheesecake. Mm, Mm, Good.

BINGO!

So I was driving in the minivan on my way to work, listening to the Radio From Hell morning show on X96 as I do every morning. They were talking about a shopping Bingo that a Friend of the Program had sent to them. I thought it hilarious and wanted to share with all.

Now, as you read through the BINGO, keep in mind your most recent shopping trip.

I got this card courtesy of www.ebaumsworld.com So get a card, make copies, give to friends and family, go shopping. Happy Hunting!

Lists

I am a list maker.

I enjoy making the grocery list. I even make it in the order of the aisles I will visit.

In October I am already anxious to make a Christmas Wish List.

During the summer I make lists of what to pack for vacations, or camping trips. Already I've been making lists of what we need for our trip to Wyoming for Thanksgiving.

At my brother's first wedding in Vegas, I had made a list of all the free stuff there is to do to keep us busy. I just wanted a plan, because I didn't want to sit around Vegas going, "What do you wanna do?"

Now, my mom posted on her blog about making a list of things she wants to have happen at her funeral. I haven't gone that far...

I remember as a young girl making lists of baby names for future children (I still make lists of names that I would like to have given to babies).

I make lists of things I want in a dream house. I've collected floor plans. I've saved clippings of items and styles that I like.

You'd think that I was so organized and goal accomplishing and such. The problem is, I make the lists or plan, but I don't always work the plan. That is something I need to work on. We all have our strengths and we all have areas that need strengthening.

Blah

Do you ever have those blah days? You aren't sick. It's not that particular "time" where your emotions run wild. Nothing is going on in your life (or so you think) where you are stressed or depressed. And yet, you just feel blah. For me, I feel kind of tired and apathetic.

I get these kinds of days now and again. My husband will ask, "What's wrong?" My answer is the typical "Nothing". Because there is nothing wrong. I'm not sick, it's not pms, I didn't stay up all night so I'm not tired. I didn't have a stressful, harrowing day. Nothing major happened to get me upset or depressed. But all I feel like doing is lay on the couch and watch tv.

I just say that I feel "blah". There isn't really anything to explain it. Maybe I just need a mental health day. Am I alone in having these kinds of days? Do I need to seek professional help? Is it chronic fatique? Epstein's Bar? Depression? Stress? Who knows.

Well, as I told my sister on her blog, "Ice cream makes it all better". (Which reminds me that it is the season for my favorite kind, Peppermint Ice Cream)

Halloween

Can I just tell you how much I love Halloween. I think the best part is the dressing up.

The first costume I remember wearing is an Indian Squaw. It was for Kindergarten. I had my hair in braids, and wore a headband around my head. I had some sort of brown dress that my mom made.

After that, I remember we had a witch costume. When I first started wearing it, the hem was to my ankles. By the time my mom told me that I was too big for that costume and needed to wear something else it was up to my knees. I love dressing like a witch or a sorceress.

These last several years, I had a witch costume. I would rat out my hair pretty big, have the black make-up and fingernail polish. I looked pretty scary. I often feel like Halloween is when I can let my inner witch come out.

Whenever I was pregnant over Halloween I would wear a jack-o-lantern costume. No need to stuff it when you are pregnant.

Then three years ago I made a Crazy Cat Lady costume.

I made the dress, bought a lavender cardigan sweater and some lavender slippers from Deseret Industries. I found stuffed cats from DI, ShopKo and the Dollartree. These cats I have sewn onto the dress, sweater and slippers. One cat I carry and throw at people because it actually meows. The dress is wrinkly and stained (put there on purpose). I even made a yellow stain (a la pee stain) on the pocket where one cat is. Most people get the reference and I have gotten raves over this costume.

Kyle tells me all the time that I am just one cat away from being the crazy cat lady.

(I have three cats)

Pumpkin Party

So I had a party where all the food was pumpkin related. All the pumpkins that I used for cooking and decorations came from my own garden. We had pumpkin activities. We carved pumpkins. (Some brought their own pumpkins to carve, but I had plenty of extra) We decorated sugar cookies that were pumpkin shaped. I had candy corn (some of them were pumpkin shaped) and other pumpkin cookie toppings.

Appetizers. Sweet Pumpkin Dip served with Nilla Wafers, Graham Cracker Sticks and Ginger Snaps to dip into it. Then there was a Savory Pumpkin Dip, and with that we used carrot sticks, celery sticks, Triscuits, Ritz and Wheatables to dip into it. There were Pumpkin Seeds to snack on, too.

Meal. There was a Pumpkin Soup topped with grated Swiss cheese and chives. Pumpkin Au Gratin, which was surpringly not too bad. The pumpkin slices were nice and soft. Then there was a Stuffed Pumpkin. It was stuffed with a rice and sausage mixture. This was a big hit. It had lots of flavor due to spices and herbs. I would definitely make this again.

Dessert was a Pumpkin Cake Roll. Kyle commented that I pulled this party off without a single pumpkin pie. Now, I love pumpkin pie, but I wanted to showcase what else pumpkin can do.

Decorations were a combination of fall harvest, Thanksgiving and Halloween Jack-O-Lanterns. On the invitations I told people that if they aren't too keen on pumpkin that they might want to eat before they come. I didn't expect everyone to like any of it, just to sample and try it. It was such a hit, I may do it again next year. The question is, do I keep it to pumpkins, or do I move onto another food item?

Another Game of Tag

You're supposed to complete the sentence and then tag 7 others to post on their blog. If you read this and wanna play, consider yourself tagged!

In six months I will be: Taking finals
In 1 year I will be: one year closer to finishing school
In 5 years I will be: 40. Hopefully, I will have a nice new job, a new house and a new car!
In 10 years I will be: 45. I could even be a grandma then. Ugh! Perish the thought!
I will be 70 years old on my golden anniversary and will: still be alive and kicking!

I've Been Tagged!

Game #1


My 7 weird/random facts:

1) I love crossword puzzles.

2) My hair is naturally curly.

3) I have NEVER been to Disneyland or Disneyworld. The only thing "Disney" I've ever been to is the "Disney Store" at the mall!

4) I am both a neat freak and a slob. (It depends on the room and on the items)

5) I love candy. Except I hate red licorice, red vines, red ropes and twizzlers. Yuck!!

6) I wish there were more holidays where we can dress up in costume. I love Halloween!

7) I have a collection of cards. I still have valentine cards from elementary school.




Game #2

RULES

Open your "pictures" folder. Go to the 4th folder (if you have one) and click on the 4th picture. Post the 4th picture.

Ok.....here is the 4th picture in my 4th folder of my "pictures" folder!



The kids built a ramp and were jumping off with their bikes and scooters. It reminded us of Napolean Dynamite jumping off the ramp with Pedro's bike.

Puppy Love & The Dating Game

So my mom posted on her blog about guys she had dated and whether it was a win or lose situation.

Of course, that got me thinking about my love life.

I remember having a crush on this kid Joel in Kindergarten. I also remember this kid Jamal having a crush on me, that one recess he ran up to me, kissed my cheek and ran away.

In second grade it was DeWayne that I loved. We would sit together on the bus. Then my family moved.

From age 8 to 14 I had a crush on JG. His family moved away (heartbreak) but they would come back and visit every so often, so I would get to see him and it would
re-ignite my crush.

We (my sisters and I) were not able to date until age 16. But unbeknownst to Mom(at least I think it was unbeknownst to Mom) I did have boyfriends. We were 'going' together. There was Chris, Jason, and Wayne.

Fast forward to dating age. My first official date actually turned out to be JG. I guess love won for a crush to become an actual date.

Then I dated Wayne. I loved his southern drawl. He really treated me like a lady. He even called my mother "Mom". I loved that my family just welcomed him. But, he ended up moving back to Tennessee, so, love lost.

Then I met Fredric. My sister and his brother got us together. When we were first talking, finding out about each other, we were outside. He did the classic move of sizing up our hands to see how much bigger his were than mine. He commented that my hands were cold, so I said, "So, why don't you warm them up?" So smooth. He ended up going on a mission, then Dear Jane-ing me while on his mission. So, love lost.

I dated a few guys in college; Dow, Rene, Ken and Tom. I would consider them breaking even.

Then I went to Wyoming to spend Thanksgiving with my cousin, who arranged for a guy to drive me. I thought the guy was cute and the rest is history. 15 years and 4 kids later, we are still going strong. So, love won.

Hype, Fads and Crazes

I find it interesting that I will choose to do or not do something just because other people are doing it.

Take for example, the Harry Potter Books and movies. Usually everyone I meet has strong feelings about this. Most people like the books, and have been on waiting lists to receive them. They've eagerly waited and anticipated the next edition. Then there are those who are totally against it because it teaches black magic, witchcraft, etc. I simply haven't read it because I'm not interested and because of all the hype surrounding it.

On the other hand, the Twilight book series or saga. All the girls in my ward, and many adults are completely ga-ga over these books. They check out the website, they have read each book multiple times in anticipation of the next edition in the series. These people can't wait for the movie to come out in December. Now, I have read these books. I haven't read the fourth book (I'm waiting for the fervor to die down so I can check it out at the library). I have read Twilight and New Moon twice (I own these two). I've read Eclipse. I've checked out Midnight Sun on www.stepheniemeyer.com. I have checked out the trailer on imdb.com and am anticipating the movies. But I'm not crazed over it. I've tried to ignore the hype so I can enjoy the series. I am a fan, and would recommend it to my friends and family, but I don't think I am ga-ga over it.

What is it about books, movies, actors, rockstars that make people lose control, lose their minds. I am not one to stand in line for 3 days just to get a ticket for something. Is it patience I possess? Or is it just a lack of determination. Maybe I'm just lazy and don't want to put forth the effort into being a superfan of something. I guess my motto is "all in good time"

I remember seeing footage for a crowd of people waiting to catch a glimpse at the Beatles, or Elvis. The women and girls are screaming, shouting, crying, and crying so hard they make themselves sick. I've seen the same thing on American Idol. They scan the audience, you see one girl in tears (the song is not even a heart-breaking, sad song) and she is about to pass out or something.

Whatever.

So, I need to think, is there anything that is a fad or craze, or something so hyped up that I just gotta have, see, hear, touch, etc.? How's about you?

Academics

So, I've gone back to school. I am a student at BYU. For the past year, I've been taking the classes I wanted to take. I would take my religion classes online, coordinating them with what book of scripture we were studying in Sunday School Gospel Doctrine class.

People ask me how I like college. I say, "Great!" "I'm learning a lot." "I'm having fun in my ASL classes."

Kyle says, "Sure, college is fun now, wait til you have to take the classes you don't like."

He's right. This summer I started two classes online. HEPE 129 (Health Ed. & Phys. Ed) and American Heritage 100. I've been lagging on the HEPE because you have to do a 12 week exercise program to show progress and I've been having a hard time getting my fat, lazy ass out of bed to exercise. (Yes I said ass, because butt just doesn't do it justice). I'm a member of Curves and it has been hard getting there this summer. But now that school/work has started and I'm in more of a routine, it should be easier.

Also, I've been lagging on the American Heritage class. Now, when I went to BYU the first time 1991-1992, I failed American Heritage. So this time I thought, "Hey, I'll take it online, so I can go at my own pace and I have a whole year to finish it, not just a semester." Now, I'm not a very political person. If this class were just historical events and dates I would be fine. But no. It is about policies and politics. Defining arete, and what the difference between Classical Republicanism, Liberal Republicanism and Democratic Republicanism is. The readings are long and I just get tired and sleepy. I bought this class in May 2008 so I have until May 2009 to finish. So far I have completed 7 of 28 lessons. I need to buckle down!

For this Fall semester I am taking Humanities 201 and Engish 150. So far for Humanities we've studied Genesis and Mesopotamia, and are now into the Iliad. For English we've discussed Writing and Rhetoric. I've learned that writing is meant to be read. Sometimes we write for ourselves like with poetry and journals because it helps us process thoughts and feelings. But don't we intend that future generations might read it? So we write for others to read. I think letter writing is a lost art. Now-a-days we just send quick emails, texts and ims. Grammar and spelling are sometimes thrown out the window in these venues. I think blogging is bringing back the art of writing.

Going back to college, it has been a trial to balance work, school, church and family. I am out of the home a lot fulfilling the diffent needs each of these require. When I decided I wanted to go back to college and get a degree, Kyle asked, "Yeah, how come we never had you go back and finish you degree?" (He finished his when we were first married) I answered, "I don't know, because we were poor, I worked full-time and we had small children." Then I said, "Wait a minute, we are still poor, I work pretty much full-time and we still have small children." I know that the timing is right to get my degree now.

So, what I have learned is that college is not only fun, but it is HARD.

Naomi Loves...

Go to Google and type in [your name] needs... this time type in [your name] loves, and see what comes up.

Naomi loves to read I do. I'll pick an author and read everything they've written.
Naomi loves to draw. Mmh, I'm not a good drawer.
Naomi loves her eyes. I love to put on make up and really like how my eyes look.
Naomi loves her baba. I don't know what this means.
Naomi loves Western Culture. It ain't no culture shock.
Naomi loves being a model and a dancer. Yeah, I got moves.
Naomi loves using phones as weapons. I have a black belt in using them like nun-chucks.
Naomi loves sex. I plead the 5th.
Naomi loves the journey aspect of sea kayaking. Right, despite the fact that I'm a poor swimmer, tire easily and get panicky in deep water.
Naomi loves "bling". Fo' shizzle
Naomi loves everything to do with writing, little businesses and marketing. Maybe a new career choice.
Naomi loves to create lists. Did they read my blog?
Naomi loves a good rivalry. C'mon! I dare you to contradict that. You think you can do better?
Naomi loves to eat anything bbq. Well, maybe not anything.

Little Known Facts

So my sister had posted Dirty Little Secrets about herself based on her friends' 100 Things About Me. So here are mine.

I hate bananas! I don't like the texture, smell or taste. It makes me gag and feel nauseous. But my mom says as a youngster I would inhale bananas. She'd peel one for me, turn to get one for my sister, and mine would be gone.

I love pickles! I hate cucumbers but I love pickles. I like sweet gherkins, baby dill, kosher dill, polish dill and hamburger dill. I'm not a big fan of bread 'n butter pickles. I love to have pickles or relish on sandwiches (burgers, peanut butter, lunch meat, etc). Yes, I said pickles and peanut butter. Once, I was eating a big kosher dill and using a spoon to eat peanut butter out of the jar. My roommates were wondering if I had anything I needed to tell them.

My favorite TV shows are the Simpson's, The Office, The Closer, Monk, Psych, Supernatural, The Soup, Cash Cab, Ice Road Truckers and I used to watch Gilmore Girls, West Wing and X-files. I do have a dirty little secret, I like trash TV. I have watched Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, I Love New York and I Love Money. But my favorite is The Girls Next Door. I am just fascinated by how low people will go in search of 'love' but really it is just lust.

I love chocolate! I crave chocolate. I am usually the first to finish the candy in my Christmas stocking, Easter basket or Halloween bag. Kyle on the other hand takes forever to eat his. I usually snitch some from him or just ask him out right, "Are you gonna eat that or what?"

I am a sap. Lately I've been very emotional. I come home from church with headaches because I've been holding in the sobs. I cry at movies and TV shows. I even cry at Hallmark and LDS commercials. I love the one with the little girl who comes into the parents' bedroom and asks her father if he would read her a story. He says that he's tired and that she should ask mommy. The little girl goes around to mom's side of the bed and asks if Daddy can read her a story. It gets me every time. I also get choked up during the Star Spangled Banner and when I hear certain songs. I think the first movie I cried at was Puff the Magic Dragon, when at the end Puff wouldn't let Jackie Paper go with him.

I love to make lists, plans and schedules. At least a week or more before a trip I am making lists of what to pack, things to do and see. I like making rosters, making shopping lists (I make mine in the order of the aisles at the grocery store), and listing ideas for projects. Even though I make lists and plan things, I don't always accomplish the goal or task that the list was made for. Like I've made lists or plans for exercise and weight loss. But...

I have CDO, which is OCD in alphabetical order, as it should be. I am anal retentive or have OCD tendencies. Every place for every thing, and every thing in its place. I like things to be in order, whether it be alphabetical, numerical, rainbow color order, genre, whatever. There must be an order or theme to things.

Give me a life situation and I can probably think of a Simpson's Episode to relate it to. (Or maybe a Seinfeld episode).

I have a song for everything. Now, I don't know the whole song, just the clip that relates. So if you told me I was crazy, I'd start singing "Crazy, crazy for feeling so lonely." Or if you said "But I want it", I would come back with Rolling Stones' "You can't always get what you want."

I am scared of spiders! Yuck! I don't like to look at them, I won't even look at pictures or touch pictures of them. I can kill them if they are small and not above my head. But in order to kill a spider I have to get on my spider killing gear, which includes flat bottomed shoes, a toilet brush and hairspray. See, the flat bottomed shoes are so you can step on it, tennis shoes have tread where a spider may hide and not get squished. The toilet brush is so you can stab the spider, then shake into the toilet and flush away. The alcohol in the hairspray suffocates the spider and the hairspray makes it so the spider can't run away from you. (easier to stab). I cannot do the tissue smash or smash with my bare hands. Ewwww! You can feel them crunch. Ugh!

I like to shock people. Whether it is something I say or do. I know that I look young and innocent. Then out of the blue I will say something so outrageous that makes you surprised. Like people I work with or have classes with are always shocked to learn that I am 35 with 4 kids with the oldest being 14! No Way! They say, I thought you were like 25. Or once I got to work early in the morning and announced to some coworkers that I got me some last night. I just like to see the surprised look.

That's all I can think of right now that I'm willing to admit.

I Gots Needs

My sister had this fun game posted on her blog. Here is how it works: Go to Google and type in "[your name] needs" and see what pops up. It should be fun to see what all the Googleheads think you "need". Lucky for me there are bunches of stuff about Naomi Campbell and Naomi Watts. Here is what "Naomi Needs"...

Naomi needs to be able to read an article and summarize the issues. (What?)
Naomi needs glasses. (I see just fine, thank you very much)
Naomi needs help. (OK, I agree with this one. But who doesn't need help?)
Naomi needs anger management lessons. (Not so much now, but when I was a teenager, sure)
Naomi needs to shut her pie hole and quit smacking people around. (I don't smack people around, just kids.)
Naomi really needs some calming influences in her life. (That's why I go to church.)
Naomi needs a good spanking. (oo-la-la, and who's gonna give it to me?)
Naomi needs therapy. (It wouldn't hurt to be psychoanalyzed.)
Naomi needs hugs. (YES!)
Naomi needs to eat. (Eating keeps my blood sugar in check so I don't get grumpy {see the above anger management}, but I do need to watch what I eat.)
Naomi needs moral support. (Yes! This is also why I go to church.)
Naomi needs a push up bra. (Yes! This is the other kind of support.)

Let me know what other needs you think I need.

Couples

You know the old saying, "There's a somebody for everyone." It must be true. Kyle and I were in Price, UT and heading into our hotel room. We happened to look across the street and see a couple. Both were obese, and both were riding those "rascal" scooters. I thought and said, "See, there's a someone for everyone."

This got me thinking about couples I know and ones that I just see around. Sometimes, at first glance I'll think that a certain pair just don't match. You know, you find yourself wondering, "How did they ever hook up?" or "What's a goober of a guy like that doing with a girl like her?"

One guy I know had gone through a divorce and just seemed lost afterwards. Like he needed someone to tell him what to do. Then he met his wife (who I think is kind of bossy, but I still like her) and she seems to be just what he needs.

Another couple I know, she's kind of cuckoo and eccentric but great fun to be around, her husband while funny is the more stable of the two, the voice of reason. They balance each other out.

One girl I know who is all of 5' fits snuggly under her husband's arm pit, he's at least 6'6". So at first glance you might think, "they don't match" but then you get to know them and see how they do match and fit together.

Recently we hooked up with some friends who had moved to Colorado and they came for a visit. Now, Kyle and I are humorous folk, and just love to crack jokes and make others laugh. So, of course we had this couple laughing and they kept saying how they missed us, and wished we could still hang out together. Then one of them said, "You two sure do enjoy each other."

That got me thinking. I know I love Kyle, and that I'm in love with him. I miss him when he's gone and glad when he's back. I view us as a partnership with the household and our business venture. We work opposite schedules and don't get to see each other as often as other couples. We disagree on somethings and have different interests so that has the "opposites attract" thing in check. But that we 'enjoy one another' is true. We are comfortable with one another. We can be together talking or not talking and just enjoy the company. The comfort of knowing the other is there.

So to all those couples out there who may not "match" I just say, enjoy one another.

Let's Play the Memory Game!

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory of me. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!
2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty fun to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

The Best

It's summer and that means a season of city festivals and bbq. For those who don't know, I run a bbq concession with my family at city festivals. We usually serve a pulled pork sandwich and you put on your own sauce. We have plenty of sauce choices: smoky, spicy, sweet, jamaican jerk, aussie, tennessee and honey mustard. Maybe we have too many choices.

Anyway, my dad pointed out something that people kept saying at the Springville Art City Days last year. When it came time to 'sauce it up" they would ask, "Which is the best?"

Which is the best? Well, let me think about that. If I knew which sauce is the best, then why do I offer 5-7 sauce choices? Do I know you, a stranger, well enough to know what your palate is? I don't know how to answer this question without sounding like a smart-ass. Now, I don't want to offend the customer and make them feel stupid, because, well, they just spent money at my booth. But again, Which is the best?

I try to say, "Well, I don't know what you like, but, my favorite is..." or I ramble on about how "I like the spicy, my kids like the smoky and my husband likes the sweet, so even we can't decide which is the best." Or Kyle answers with, "The most popular is...."

Now, I'm ok with the people who ask "Which do you like?" or "Which is your favorite" or "Which do you think is the best?" These are opinion specific questions. I can answer these.

But the ubiquitous , "Which is the best?"...

You don't know yourself well enough to know if you like spicy, sweet or smoky? We usually invite the customer to do a taste test to decide which they believe to be "the best".

Last year, I even made up a bottle with the label, "The Best" and hid it. Then when a customer would ask, "Which is the best" I could whip it out and say, "Why, this is the best." (The secret to "The Best" sauce is, you just take all the sauces and mix them together.)

Occasionally we will get a variation to the question of "Which is the best?" and that is, "Which one is good?" Do they honestly think I would put out a sauce that is wretched? Do they think I'm trying to trick them? Like I've got a bottle of gym sock sauce or burning tire sauce? Inversely, we've never gotten a customer who asks, "Which is the worst?"

So, I've come to the conclusion that people are either scared or lazy. Too scared to try something new and afraid that they won't like it. Or, too lazy to try things for themselves. They just want everything handed to them. I wonder about these people. Do they go to McDonald's and ask the cashier "Which is the best?"

Doctors & Friends

Recently my husband Kyle went to the doctor for a visit. He had a fungal infection in his toe (he probably doesn't want me to tell you this). He banged his toe pretty good a couple of years ago and has been susceptible to infections ever since. A good soak in Epsom Salt helps. Anyway, the doctor gave him an antibiotic for the toe. Then, he's been battling tendonitis in his hands for a number of years. The doctor wanted to X-ray his hands and do blood work to make sure that he didn't have rheumatoid arthritis. Kyle's grandmother had that. Then he also had patches of psoriasis and got a steroid cream for that. They also wanted to check his blood work to see that he didn't have psoriatic arthritis. Then recently he has had back pain. Turns out he has kidney stones. They did a CT scan on him and checked on those.

The doctor noted on how he had 4 things wrong with him. The doctor joked that I might want to look into upgrading to a newer model. When Kyle told me about his doctor appointments I said, "You're falling apart on me and you aren't even 40!" Kyle's work buddy reminded me that I won't be upgrading from a minivan to a ferarri. It will just be a newer model minivan.

Now, after all this we go visit my sister. She's recently divorced and has entered the dating scene. She was telling Kyle and I all sorts of storied about the guys she has met. She even discusses it on her blog. Anyway, after this, I go home and start both a facebook and myspace page and this blog. I've connected with my family and some old friends from school and church back home in Indiana.

Kyle comments that I've seen how much fun my sister is having with the singles scene, that I have begun cruising for my upgrade. I assure him that I am only connecting with old friends. I feel that I have work acquaintances but no real friends. I consider Shelley to be my best friend, but we can go months without talking to each other just because our schedules are so busy. One will call the other and then we'll realize how long its been since the last conversation or get together. I have friends or acquaintances at church, but no one that we really get together with outside of church activities.

I miss having a group of buddies, of having a confidant, of being part of a group. I want what my parents had when I was growing up. They had friends that they would get together with for birthday dinners, Halloween parties, double dates, etc. I'm ready to graduate to adulthood friends.

Pranks

I can neither confirm nor deny that I have taken part in any of the following pranks pulled by Lee Harvey Oswald.

-stuffed pick-up truck with newspaper and balloons, wrapped truck in Saran Wrap then stuck Oreos on it, then wrapped truck with toilet paper.

-stole Pez dispenser from friend, sent Pez dispenser on world wide tour, returned Pez dispenser along with a photo album of trip and a road trip mix tape.

-decorated office with Pez and tootsie rolls. Hopefully recipient is still finding tootsie rolls even today.

-taped butcher paper over door frame, filled space between paper and door with popcorn.

-placed Harry Potter banner wishing recipient a Happy 40th Birthday. Banner held up by brooms. By the way, recipient hates Harry Potter.

-place large silhouette of Charlie's Angels and speaker box on lawn wishing recipient Happy 40th Birthday. Recipient did not like the Charlie's Angels movie.

-wrapped El Camino in toilet paper and placed flaming bag of dog poo by driver's side door after recipient complained that Lee Harvey Oswald spent more time on other people's birthdays than their own spouse.

-"enrolled" recipient in "Dessert of the Month Club". All desserts were made of pumpkin. Recipient hates pumpkin.

-large poster of a french pig wishing recipient Happy 40th Birthday attached to fence. Recipient had served a french speaking mission, and collected pigs. Also left a stuffed pig wearing a lava lava. Recipient's spouse is polynesian.

-heart attacked recipient with hearts staked out on lawn and house. Left teddy bear with a heart as a souvenir.

-giant milk carton on lawn with a photo of "missing" recipient as they had lost their youth.

-high school photo of recipient wearing wrestling unitard published in local paper wishing recipient Happy 40th Birthday.

-had local businesses wish recipient Happy Birthday on their marquees.

-Filled recipient's car with 40 tribbles, and posted large sign in yard wishing Happy 40th Birthday a la Star Trek. "40, the final frontier."

-placed head of hobby horse in recipient's bed a la Godfather after recipient ratted out spouse to the recipient of Harry Potter prank.

-built graveyard on recipient's lawn a la Simpson's treehouse of horror opening. Later that day had a wake for recipient complete with coffin, black drapes covering framed pictures and mirrors, and had a small shrine of candles and pictures of recipient. Also, served funeral potatoes.

-pimped out red El Camino with brown leopard print seat covers and steering wheel cover. Pinned bright pink dingle balls along dash. Blue fuzzy dice hung from rearview mirror. Large purple pimp hat in driver's seat. Passenger seat had blow up doll wearing teal teddy and an orange sash embroidered with "Sweet Sassy Molassy".

-recipient received Happy Easter card with Easter crossed out and Birthday written in. Card had burnt edges, sticky jelly and hair stuck to it. It was place in an envelope of the wrong size. Written in card the statement that further birthday pranks would be suspended due to budgetary constraints and lack of interest.

-placed on front porch of recipient an old toilet with a flower planted in tank and a frog sitting on edge of tank holding a fishing pole. In bowl of toilet a fish.

-sent recipient 40 free catalogs ranging in interests from swimming pool accessories (recipient does not have a pool) to wine (recipient is LDS) for their 4oth birthday. Recipient saved 40 catalogs and gave back to sender as a Christmas present. (This was obviously an inside job)

-recipient plays trumpet. Left on porch a large sign wishing recipient Happy Birthday with tweaked nursery rhyme of Little Boy Blue, and a picture of girl in blue playing trumpet. Also left bag of Bugles.

Do you realize how loud duct tape is at midnight? Or for that matter how loud popcorn is against a door in February at midnight?

No sleep

So this week Zach had Youth Conference from Thursday to Saturday. They were doing a river raft trip in Moab down the Colorado River. On Wednesday we went to Wal-Mart to get a few things still needed for the trip. Got Zach set, made dinner then my friend Shelley calls me and wants to know what I'm doing later. Which means she's up to no good. She picks me up at 9pm for our nocturnal clandestine activities. (In case I hadn't told you before, I'm part of a threesome that likes to play pranks on people for their birthday). I get home after midnight. Zach is still up playing Xbox Live. I remind him that he is supposed to be at the church at 5am for the drive down to Moab. "Oh, yeah, I forgot," he says. So I get him off to bed.

Now I am wired from my prank and the Vanilla Coke Zero I drank to keep me up for the prank. So I decide to read. Now I should have read my American Heritage book for my Independent Study class. I always get drowsy reading that book. But no, I read Invasive Procedures by Orson Scott Card. I had been reading it that week and of course now it comes to all the action. All the storylines come together. This is the big climax. Kyle gets home from work at about 1:45am, sees that I'm still up. Then he comes to bed at about 3:30 and I'm still reading. I've decided by now that it is probably easier just to stay up, than try to get 2 hours of sleep before I have to get Zach up for Youth Conference.

My alarm had been set for 4:30am, I finish reading at 4:27am Thursday morning. I shut off my lamp and the alarm. Kyle asks if I'm going to sleep now, I said "nope, I'm getting up." I got Zach to the church, then I went and worked out at Curves. Then I got ready for work. I walk 6 blocks to the bus stop. I am working summer school Tues-Thurs, 8:15-11:45am. Then take bus home, eat lunch. My visiting teachers come over. Then its back to the bus to go to BYU. I'm tired throughout the day. I've had numerous Diet Cokes. My eyes are bloodshot so I've used Visine throughout the day. I'm walking home from the bus stop. I'm tired. I have a blister on my foot from all the walking. It is 90+ degrees outside. I get home just after 6:30pm. I call Kyle to see if he could just pick up something for dinner because I can't cope with it right now.

The sleep deprivation didn't make me grumpy. But for some reason made my emotions close to the surface. So while I'm talking to Kyle I feel like I want to cry. Then I go sit on the couch to watch tv. and wait for dinner. I lay down because I'm pooped. I fall asleep. I never hear Kyle come home with dinner. I never hear the kids playing (and Kyle says they weren't quiet by any means). I wake up at 3am because the couch isn't comfortable and brush my teeth and go to bed. I tell you I'm not staying up all night and day any time soon.