Blow to the self-esteem

Lately I've been going to interviews trying to land a student teaching internship for the Fall.  Some of the interviews have been with individual principals for a specific job opening and others have been with district personnel for a teaching pool to draw from for their multiple openings.

I interviewed at Alpine School District.  They had 4 intern openings.  I never heard back.  Never got a call to interview with a specific principal.  In talking to some of my cohorts, I think the 4 positions have been filled.

I interviewed with one principal for an elementary school in Springville.  I thought it went well.  I got a call back saying that the position was filled, but that I was a strong candidate and they wished me luck.

I interviewed with a Nebo School District man, Mike, and two principals of elementary schools at the same time.  I thought it went very well.  But again, I got a call back saying the positions had been filled.

Then I interviewed in Provo School District with 3 people who were putting together a teaching pool  I have yet to hear back.  I've emailed the lady twice for information as to whether or not I am in the pool.  I called yesterday and left a message on her voicemail.

My visiting teaching companion is a secretary at Spanish Fork Junior High.  She told me that their Special Education Teacher just put in her resignation effective at the end of month.  The job wasn't posted yet but she told me to call the principal.  I did call.  He had interviewed only one person so far.  It was one of my cohorts.  He was under the impression that only one person was interested in secondary.  I informed him that there were at least 7 of us wanting internships.  He said he would talk with Mike.  I called back a few days later.  By then, he had gotten a copy of my resume from Mike.  He said that his schedule was hectic that week with an accreditation team coming in so he'll do interviews after that.  So I called the day after the team was in his school.  Again, I got the hectic excuse.  I asked about interviews.  He said that they'll schedule them for later that week.  I call again Friday because I still did not get an interview set up.  I know that two other of my cohorts got interviews with him.  I called again yesterday.  "Oh, yeah," he says, "I got a note right here to call you Friday".  Well, the position had been filled.  They did a couple of interviews and one stood out.  But he thanked me for my interest.

Seriously?!  I was so upset.  Why wasn't my interest enough to warrant an interview?  I had called, made myself available for interviews.  I didn't call every day, I didn't want to be a pest.  I only called once, maybe twice a week.  For some reason this really was a blow to my ego.  What about our phone conversations or my resume wasn't good enough for an interview?  Did Mike tell him something about me because he had sat in on one of my other interviews.  Did one of my references not give me a good review?  Who knows.  Oh, and at the end of the phone conversation he told me, "I was talking with Mike, he said that there may be an opening at Springville Junior High" so I should try there.  "Good luck."

I was very emotional the rest of the day.  I talked with a few cohorts, they too are frustrated that district personnel have not returned their emails and  phone calls.

I just felt like I was being black-listed or black-balled or something.  Kyle thought it was weird that I am having a hard time getting an internship.  He thought that with my years of experience I would have the pick of the litter.  I guess I'm not as great as I thought.