After the luncheon on Satuday, my parents, sister, husband and I sat around talking about the family. We discussed the upcoming reunion. We discussed the siblings and what we are up to nowadays. We talked about our quirky relatives. We talked about how as kids we fought all the time, but now as adults we get along pretty well. I don't think any of us hold grudges against one another, or at least none that I'm aware of.
My sister was telling of some things that went down at her Girls' Camp among the leaders. Just some petty little things. She's decided that she's not going to let it bother her. Sure, she could let these things hurt her, but why waste the energy and time holding a grudge?
I got to thinking if I had any grudges in my life. I think there is only one. When I was a little girl, we would go to Tennessee to visit my mom's parents. My step-grandmother had this lamp on her organ. Anytime you walked past it, the lamp would jingle due to the vibrations your feet would set off. I think my parents, my grandpa and my aunt suggested that she move it while all the kids were visiting. Nope. She insisted that that is the place for that lamp. That's where it goes, that's where it stays.
Well, one day I was helping my dad set up a film projector, we were going to watch some old family films. We were using the organ bench. Just one bump to the organ and the lamp took a tumble. Of course the lamp was on my side. I remember reaching my hands out to catch the lamp. I saw the lamp pass through my hands and crash to the floor, shattering.
Everyone came. Grandma June just started going on and on about this lamp, how it was a one of a kind, now it's broken...My mom stands there in shock. I think she didn't know who to comfort, her daughter or her step-mother. I ran off to the bathroom crying. I locked myself in. I felt really bad, but it wasn't my fault. I tried to catch the darn thing. And did anyone ask if I was ok? That was a glass lamp that had shattered. No, I do not recall anyone asking if I was ok. I kept myself locked in the bathroom for a good while. The only person able to coax me out was my Aunt Glenda.
Now, I used to call her Grandma June. But later, after this and a few other incidents, I started adding the 'step'. I guess I felt that my real grandma wouldn't treat me like she did. This has been my longest grudge.
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i can't think of any grudges that i have, but i think people have grudges against me
ReplyDeleteI remember this event. I remember all of us being mad at her for yelling. Especially since she had a second "one of a kind" lamp anyway. And you're right, Gramma Goldie would have never reacted that way. As far as grudges go, I think I hold disappointments but not grudges.
ReplyDeleteNot only did she yell but she also swore. That made me mad. Here I was trying to help out while my little girl, who just got sworn at runs off, and I am trying to keep my cool to not make things worse. So my sister goes to my little girl and my dad and I try to get things fixed up at the scene and June goes on and on about how the lamp is irreplaceable because it was hand painted by a friend.
ReplyDeleteThen let's jump to years later. The remaining lamp is spotted at her yard sale. I asked her if she did not want to keep her momento of her friend. She said no. I was very surprised. But as I think about it, maybe it was a bad memory for her of how she acted. We never talked about it. Infact, since my Dad died we do not keep in contact. I should do better at that, but like Samueal would say, "I just don't feel the love".
Definetely not like Grandma Goldie.
that would be Samuel not Samueal.Sorry about that.
ReplyDeletei never held a grudge against "this woman", despite the tone that oozes through here. hahaha. anyway, i do remember the lamp incident. i also remember thinking, "boy, how did Dad get out of this one? I mean he was also there setting up the projector. So, just because the lamp fell on HER side, she was the "culprit". i am glad I don't remember the woman swearing, or it may have made me lose even more respect for her -- if that was possible.
ReplyDeleteanyway - i also remember at their 25th wedding anniversary, they wanted to have this big party and renew their vows. so mom and Aunt Glenda helped get things ready and planned the music for the service, etc. Well, there was also to be a luncheon afterwards and there were like 25 or 30 guests. when people would ask her who the children were she'd say something to this effect: "This is my granddaughter Heather. And these are my step-grandchildren. They belong to Patti." So, not only were we STEP grandchildren, but we weren't worthy enough of having our names mentioned. i always thought that was the weirdest thing. suffice it to say that since that moment, I would refer to her as my Step-Grandmother. I mean, I think it is only fair.
The only thing I suppose we can take comfort in is this... she is the one that has to live with herself all of these years...which is sort of sad, considering how she was.